TO HECK With the big three?
- By l.t. Dravis
- Published 11/17/2008
l.t. Dravis
I created and have written the nationally distributed marketing newsletter, BOTH SIDES NOW, since 2003. I authored two books, BOTH SIDES NOW, Sell Like Professional Athletes Win and DEATH OF A SALES MANAGER. In 2008, I introduced a daily column for national syndication to newspapers.
PRESS THE
POLITICIAN . . .
A Fictional Sunday morning News Show
like you’ve never seen
TODAY’S
TOPIC: TO HECK WITH THE BIG THREE?
DETROIT, MICHIGAN – Sunday, November 16, 2008 – WE are tuned in to a fictitious Sunday morning news program, PRESS THE
POLITICIAN, and we’re watching the moderator discuss the Senate vote tomorrow
on whether or not to bail out the Big Three Auto makers with two fictional
Senators, one Democratic and one Republican:
I would like to
welcome two experienced Senators to our program this morning . . . Senator Carl
Blue from a northern state and Senator Richard Red from a southern state are
here to present two diametrically opposed positions on a Senate bill to ‘give’
or ‘loan’ $25 billion in taxpayer money to ‘bailout’ the Big Three carmakers.
Senator Red, you seem to be the front man on the Republican side of
the effort to kill any legislation that would bailout carmakers. Is there
anything your Democratic colleagues can do to change your mind on a bill you’ve
been so vocally opposed to? You seem to have ignored or perhaps you don’t care
about a recent report from CAR Research, a non-profit research corporation
which says that if Chrysler, Ford, and General Motors fail, 3 million jobs will
be lost, costing $158 billion in personal income, and $60 billion in tax
revenues in 2009. How do you respond?”
FICTIONAL SENATOR RED (R - Southern
State) (another middle-aged man but this one has brown
hair . . . he squints a lot, talks out of the right side of his mouth and
speaks with a pronounced southern drawl):
“Detroit isn’t building the kinds of cars and trucks Americans want to buy.
They’ve refused to invest in fuel-efficient cars and trucks for decades and now
they’re getting what they deserve. The Big Three have been run for decades by a
bunch of jackasses and I don’t know why we should reward their incompetence.
Besides, the $25 billion they’re asking for now is just the first of a series
of bailouts these guys will want from us.”
MODERATOR NELSON NEWSMAN: “Whoa, wait a second . . . you’re playing a blame game here. How
does any of what you’re saying help the millions of workers who will lose their
jobs if the Big Three bailout bill is defeated? How can you play politics with
what could be the single largest loss of jobs in the history of the nation?”
SENATOR RED: “Hey, Nelson, don’t get snotty with me!
If you ever want to get me or any of my friends in the Senate to come on your
program in the future, you’d better watch your tone and your words. I’m a United States Senator and I don’t have
to run for reelection for four more years. So I’ve got lots of political favors
to trade before I have to face the voters again. So I’m going to push the
Democrats as far as I can here . . . who knows how many millions in earmarks I
can get out of this bailout business for my state, my supporters, and my
lobbyists?”
NELSON NEWSMAN: “Senator Red . . . for the record, you didn’t respond with
anything close to an answer to the question I asked. But, rather than beat a
dead horse, I’ll turn to Senator Carl Blue, the long-time senator from the
state where hundreds of thousands of auto workers live and work. You heard what
Senator Red said. Do you agree with Senator Red when he says if the Senate
approves a bailout, you’re only opening the door for the Big Three to come back
to you for more money in the future?
FICTIONAL SENATOR BLUE (D – Northern
State) (another middle-aged guy with a gray comb-over,
a sincere smile, and a Midwest twang): “I
can’t believe what I’m hearing . . . Senator Red actually revealed a little
something about his true political character. How about that? Betcha the MSNBC
is all over that story by nightfall. In any case, there are as many as 3
million jobs dependent upon the survival of the American auto industry. This is
not a Wall Street problem . . . this is a problem that impacts
“Besides, look at
MODERATOR NELSON NEWSMAN: “Don’t waste my audience’s time talking about what other countries
will or won’t do . . . you and Senator Red were elected to protect your
constituents. Each of you gets nearly $200 grand a year, you’ve got the best
health insurance taxpayer money can buy, you’ve got people kissing up to you
all day every day, and you’re locked into cushy jobs for the foreseeable
future. Why can’t you stop the political double talk and get some work done for
the people who pay you? The people who actually have to work for a living, the
people whose lives you’re playing with, want to know whether you and Senator
Red are going to take away their jobs, their pensions, and their health
insurance, and . . . “
SENATOR BLUE (Interrupting): “. . . Hey, Nelson, don’t bust my chops! I’m the guy who’s for the
Big Three bailout. Unlike Senator Red, I’m actually trying to save jobs,
pensions, and health insurance . . . not only for the folks who work for
General Motors, Chrysler, and Ford but I’m thinking about all the people who
work for their suppliers, vendors, and dealerships.
“As far as what Senator Red said about
“
“So, don’t give me that hackneyed baloney about the auto industry
not trying to meet consumer demand.”
NELSON NEWSMAN: “Okay, okay, Senator Blue . . . calm down! Senator Red, did
Senator Blue say anything that would stop you from filibustering to prevent the
Big Three bailout from ever coming to a vote?”
SENATOR RED: “Carl and I are good friends. We run with the same group of
wealthy, power crazy group of mostly white men and we’ve been friends forever.
I mean, we think so much alike, we often finish each other’s sentences.
However, when it comes to the Big Three bailout, I have to play my cards close
to the vest. Carl understands that . . . he lets me play my game: I pretend I’m
not going to support the bill while we negotiate behind closed doors for pork
barrel projects I want . . . and then, when he’s looking for some reciprocity
in the future, I do the same for him.”
NELSON NEWSMAN: “You completely ignored my question. Are you going to filibuster
this bill to prevent it from coming to a vote or not?”
SENATOR RED (Laughing): “Hey, I didn’t know I’d have to give you straight answers to
straight questions . . . what are you doing to us?”
NELSON NEWSMAN: “Since this is a fictional news program and we are fictional
characters talking about a real problem, the author thought he’d actually make
everyone be honest . . . you know . . . for a change?”
EPILOGUE: Okay . . . enough fiction . . . what’s the real deal here?
If the Big Three American carmakers don’t get a bailout beyond the
$25 billion already approved to help them build more fuel-efficient cars,
they’ll soon burn through their cash and they’ll be forced to file for Chapter
11 bankruptcy.
The experts think that General Motors will probably be the first to
go, with Chrysler running a close second, and Ford running a distant third.
Some dealers will
close their doors before the bankruptcy, some will go out of business on the
day Chrysler, Ford, or GM file for bankruptcy protection, and others will fail
soon thereafter.
When dealer
locations shut down, as many as three quarters of a million jobs will be lost,
sales tax revenues will be cut off to local communities, and property leases will
go unpaid.
Thousands of
suppliers of raw materials and vendors who make the parts and pieces so
critical to keep the assembly lines going will liquidate, or reorganize,
throwing more thousands of workers out of jobs.
Car and truck sales
will slow down even more as consumers worried about lack of dealer service and
future parts problems refuse to buy vehicles from a company in bankruptcy.
So, let’s take a
moment for a reality check here . . . What is the real cause of the current
drop in car and light truck sales across the country?
Is it, as Senator
Red would like us to believe, because
Not at all . . .
American car sales have plummeted because people can’t or won’t buy cars and
trucks because of the Wall Street-induced credit crunch, job losses at the rate
of 2 million a month, and the nation’s uncertain economic future.
Who, besides the Senator
Reds of the world, can’t understand that?
And, what will the
United States Senate do today about bailing out the Big Three carmakers?
We hope 100 Senators
are smart enough to create a bailout plan that will not only help Chrysler,
Ford, and General Motors emerge from the current economic mess, leaner, meaner,
and more consistently profitable than ever.
We also hope the 100
are smart enough to design a plan that will return a profit to the taxpayers.
We can hope . . .
Can’t we?
Copyright © 2008 by LTD
Associates West, Ltd. All rights reserved.
If you have questions, comments, or concerns,
Email me at
Want to go to a Blog
that listens to you and speaks for you as well?
